Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
sex in a hospital.. check
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
