this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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