So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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