I want to stick my p in your. b.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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