My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
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i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You pole danced in your parka.
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