i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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