College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
