if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
