i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Holy shit dude........stairs
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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