i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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