the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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