it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize