Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
