I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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