I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
