I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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