Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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