"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
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