Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
