i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
This toilet bowl is my home.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
