Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
