I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
