Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
