Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
