I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
