Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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