How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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