There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
