I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
