i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
