Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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