What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
