girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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