you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
