Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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