Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
