think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
