its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
