Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize