haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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