they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
