"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
