Nicole vs. Life
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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