Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Slut skills are useful in every country.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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