is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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