Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
