I can tuck mytits in my pants
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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