the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
