SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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