look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
