You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Someone came in the potted fern
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
