Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
