Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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