I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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