this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.