Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
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bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
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She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.